All this talk about relationship with Christ…as though it were something to be attained or sought after, researched or discovered, understood or somehow earned. All that energy and talk, much of it self-serving and all of it meeting some unmet need, misses the point entirely. What am I thinking? What I seek I already have.
It’s been an interesting process leaving church and spending a prolonged period of time without a local church community. It’s been nearly a year now, and its taken this long to shed the skin of talk-driven spirituality. I used to go to church looking for some magic words from a pastor, words that might touch something deep in me and help me get closer to God. I would share this experience with peers, all of us using the comfortable language of earnest, missional Christianity, talking each other into relationship. Prayer was the same – flowery language, words carefully chosen, a deep desire to meet the needs of the person or group one was praying with. It was for them, or for me, or for God. None of this is bad, but it was empty in many ways. For them, for me, or for God…but lacking Presence.
I never experienced God’s presence then like I do now…or rather, His presence hasn’t changed, but now I’m quiet enough to notice, quiet enough to rest, quiet enough to listen. Words don’t get in the way like they did. It’s hard to explain, though I find the everyday wonder of my marriage gets closest to touching it. My relationship with my wife has deepened most profoundly in the quiet realm of our unspoken communication. In an embrace, we are one. In the undefined, unspoken bond of trust and commitment between us, we are one. We are one, and we don’t need to say that to be that. It doesn’t need to be defined, examined or studied…we just enjoy it, and it gives us life. It is so interesting that the vision of relationship with Christ most widely used in the bible is the marriage. Presence…oneness.
The Christian life is life…it doesn’t need to be dressed up or defined. God is. He is with us in all we do and all we are. I think if I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned this is the hardest thing to grasp and live out. I want to earn it, so I can lay claim to it. I want to need it, so I can grasp it tightly. The bare reality is that God simply is, and there’s nothing I can do to earn His love or screw it up. As Phillip Yancey writes, there’s nothing we can do to make God love us less, and there’s nothing we can do to make Him love us more. It just is…His love just is.
Those moments when I wrap my head around this make me want to cry. In some ways, the tears are tears of loss…for life is terrible sometimes, and there is very often no comfort to be had. Those who suffer more than I know this intimately. Yet, the tears are also tears of joy…for in the midst of it all, I am known…I am home where I am. In the midst of the bitter-sweetness of life, I am home in the untouchable embrace of God…who is the essence of relationship, eternally embraced and embracing, Father, Son and Spirit.
Related Blogs
- Related Blogs on Church Culture
- Rethinking the Stumbling Block: Christian Culture as a Barrier …
- Related Blogs on Grace
- A Lesson in Theology and Grace | simplemann.net
- 2010 calls for enhanced hospitality training – Grace Hospitality …
- Yuvraj, Soha & Kunal grace Arpita Khan’s Wanted Screening | Photo …
- Related Blogs on Hearing God
- Discerning what you “hear from God” @ B L O G P A S T O R
- Hearing God’s voice
- Hearing God if We Listen « Alan Fadling: Notes from my Journey
Recent Comments