Contemplative Christian

Life certainly seems to have a life of it’s own sometimes.  Events come and go, and we often mindlessly move through time with very little awareness of the movement, very little awareness of our place in it.  Then, we suddenly become aware of a force outside of ourselves intervening, or rather convening, coming together with us in moments of deep meaning. This is beautiful, often bittersweet…even painful, but painful with grace and presence.

Each of us has a past, moments in our lives we’re not proud of, relationships we failed to take care of, shames we carry, burdens we bear.  And, every so often, the course of our normal everyday life is changed by the re-emergence of the past, abruptly entering the present and tearing us backward through the time we’ve hidden behind, the distance we’ve become comfortable in.  In these moments, torn out of the third-person narrative of our own lives, faced with the big picture, the overarching reality of who we are…we can face and make peace with our shadow.

Reality is a gift. Right now, I am who I am…and I can no sooner deny my shadow than deny my goodness. I want to suffer knowing pain I’ve caused, pain I’ve been dealt…I want to walk into it and accept it. When I have accepted it, I can sit freely in prayer and encounter love with a freedom not otherwise possible. Richard Rohr writes, “the path of prayer and love and the path of suffering seem to be the two Great Paths of Transformation. Suffering seems to get our attention; love and prayer seem to get our heart and our passion.” (Everything Belongs, p. 14) It all belongs…and though our natural tendency is to avoid pain and seek comfort, the call is to encounter our pain, walk into it…and find our comfort in the arms of our Father, who accepts us, and whose passion for us in our vulnerability is eternal and indescribable. “This reality, felt and not denied, suffered and enjoyed, becomes the royal road to the center. In other words, reality itself, our reality, my limited and sometimes misinterpreted experience, still becomes the revelatory place for God.” (Rohr, Everything Belongs, p. 15)

There is no end to the love of God…nothing else matters. The never-ending struggle to be “good” many of us are caught in leads only to more struggle, and for me ultimately to despair. The true journey…the path of peace that surpasses all understanding, is to reconcile with reality, to allow the mystery of God and the tragic beauty of life to play out within us. It is accepting the unacceptable, reconciling the irreconcilable…accepting that certainty and uncertainty, sin and grace, and life and death are not mutually exclusive, but belong together.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)

Richard Rohr’s book, Everything Belongs, is a wonderful vision of contemplative prayer…

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