Contemplative Christian » Prayer http://contemplativechristian.com Grace and Presence in Prayer Mon, 09 Aug 2010 04:32:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Everything Belongs http://contemplativechristian.com/everything-belongs/ http://contemplativechristian.com/everything-belongs/#comments Sat, 05 Jun 2010 19:00:22 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1096
Life certainly seems to have a life of it’s own sometimes.  Events come and go, and we often mindlessly move through time with very little awareness of the movement, very little awareness of our place in it.  Then, we suddenly become aware of a force outside of ourselves intervening, or rather convening, coming together with us in moments of deep meaning. This is beautiful, often bittersweet…even painful, but painful with grace and presence.

Each of us has a past, moments in our lives we’re not proud of, relationships we failed to take care of, shames we carry, burdens we bear.  And, every so often, the course of our normal everyday life is changed by the re-emergence of the past, abruptly entering the present and tearing us backward through the time we’ve hidden behind, the distance we’ve become comfortable in.  In these moments, torn out of the third-person narrative of our own lives, faced with the big picture, the overarching reality of who we are…we can face and make peace with our shadow.

Reality is a gift. Right now, I am who I am…and I can no sooner deny my shadow than deny my goodness. I want to suffer knowing pain I’ve caused, pain I’ve been dealt…I want to walk into it and accept it. When I have accepted it, I can sit freely in prayer and encounter love with a freedom not otherwise possible. Richard Rohr writes, “the path of prayer and love and the path of suffering seem to be the two Great Paths of Transformation. Suffering seems to get our attention; love and prayer seem to get our heart and our passion.” (Everything Belongs, p. 14) It all belongs…and though our natural tendency is to avoid pain and seek comfort, the call is to encounter our pain, walk into it…and find our comfort in the arms of our Father, who accepts us, and whose passion for us in our vulnerability is eternal and indescribable. “This reality, felt and not denied, suffered and enjoyed, becomes the royal road to the center. In other words, reality itself, our reality, my limited and sometimes misinterpreted experience, still becomes the revelatory place for God.” (Rohr, Everything Belongs, p. 15)

There is no end to the love of God…nothing else matters. The never-ending struggle to be “good” many of us are caught in leads only to more struggle, and for me ultimately to despair. The true journey…the path of peace that surpasses all understanding, is to reconcile with reality, to allow the mystery of God and the tragic beauty of life to play out within us. It is accepting the unacceptable, reconciling the irreconcilable…accepting that certainty and uncertainty, sin and grace, and life and death are not mutually exclusive, but belong together.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)

Richard Rohr’s book, Everything Belongs, is a wonderful vision of contemplative prayer…

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/everything-belongs/feed/ 1 Simplicity http://contemplativechristian.com/simplicity/ http://contemplativechristian.com/simplicity/#comments Tue, 27 Apr 2010 03:06:28 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1269
I’ve done less writing lately…my heart hasn’t been in it.  Reflecting on it, I realize somewhere along the way I began writing about spirituality instead of living in it.  This has been a common theme in many of my past posts, this third-person spirituality,  where one acts and thinks and prays internally as though done externally, publicly…with appearances in mind.  Here and now I look back over my own words and see, amidst moments of clarity and beauty, the footprints of my own ego…marching along trying to be noticed, heard, accepted, praised…dare I say, worshiped.

And yet, now I can be thankful for the grace to see it…for the gentle call of these last months back to a simple spirituality, one that defies elaboration.  Lord, let it be.  There is a wonderful prayer, the Anima Christi – a favorite of St. Ignatius, paraphrased by David Fleming, that echoes the Lord’s Prayer in simplicity and worship…I’ll share it here now, to hopefully communicate the flavor of what I’m talking about:

Jesus, may all that is you flow into me.

May your body and blood be my food and drink.

May your passion and death be my strength and life.

Jesus, with you by my side enough has been given.

May the shelter I seek be the shadow of your cross.

Let me not run from the love which you offer,

But hold me safe from the forces of evil.

On each of my dyings shed your light and your love.

Keep calling to me until that day comes,

When, with your saints, I may praise you forever. Amen.

Fleming, D.L.(1993). Hearts on Fire: Praying with the Jesuits. Institute of Jesuit Sources: St. Louis.

]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/simplicity/feed/ 3 The Breath of Christ http://contemplativechristian.com/the-breath-of-christ/ http://contemplativechristian.com/the-breath-of-christ/#comments Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:58:46 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1238
I choose to breathe the breath of Christ that makes all life holy.

These words appeared on my cell phone last week, sent by my wife to encourage me during what was a challenging week. Life can be tough…in fact, if we’re honest, it just plain is tough.  Yet, life can be infused with holiness in the present moment…as we breathe this breath, and this breath, and this one…

I read bits and pieces of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle this week, out of curiosity.  What I found was a kind of universalist approach common to contemporary, New Age-ish spirituality….but there is truth there as well.   Tolle writes about the true self and the false self, and describes the spiritual journey as primarily about letting go of the false self and living in the present.   Our false selves are full of woundedness, narcissism and judgment…where the true self, which is intimately linked to the essence of life,  is beauty and freedom.  When we can become observers of that false self, stepping out of it and into truth, we become free.  He’s on to something here…yet he paints a limited picture.

There is a part of each of us that is false…fallen if you will.  This is where our guilt and shame reside, our needs for comfort and power, our pain and our self-centeredness. Yet, the bible teaches this fallen self isn’t the whole story.  Adam and Eve were originally created for relationship and freedom, not for brokenness.  Contrary to those who proudly tout their “sinner”-ness, I think as images of God, we are more accurately thought of as inherently good…not inherently bad.  So, when the bible talks about Christ coming to dwell in us, the picture Tolle and others paint of freedom from false self becomes clearer.  The false self is the broken self, but not the whole self.  We were created for relationship.  When we release the burden of the old Adam and acknowledge the reality of the new Adam (Christ) in our life, we are claiming our true selves.

This is a call to live fully in the present reality of our restored relationship with Christ, not to continually struggle with sin and our broken nature, seeking forgiveness and screwing up again and again.  We are whole already…we only need to acknowledge it…moment by moment, breath by breath. If God is love, and Christ is in us and we in Him, then we can be free from the false reality that we are defined by our sin. Sin hardly matters…in fact, if you believe Romans 5:20, which says, “where sin abounds, grace abounds more”…then sin is only the shadow side of grace, and grace is grace, however you try to look at it.

Tolle is right…most of how we react to life on a daily basis comes from our false self…and through building awareness, we can begin to see that for what it is.  We can let go, and fall back into the gentle arms of Truth…and live in freedom. However, truth is not a hazy notion of some benign universal consciousness…is it Personal. I am who I truly am only in light of who Christ is. When I breathe His breath right now, I enter into reality…the incomprehensible reality of Relationship.

I choose to breathe the breath of Christ that makes all life holy.  We can choose to live His life in us…for we exist in the context of our relationship with Christ, just as He exists in the context of His relationship with Father and Spirit. It’s not something to be grappled with theologically or explained intellectually…we need to let go of those impulses to control and define. Relationship is personal, and Christ is right now waiting, with us and in us…all we have to do is breath…

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/the-breath-of-christ/feed/ 0 My Lord’s Prayer http://contemplativechristian.com/the-lords-prayer/ http://contemplativechristian.com/the-lords-prayer/#comments Sat, 05 Dec 2009 08:02:36 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1197
Father, in heaven…I’m drawn to my knees in your presence,

my heart aches in response to your embrace,

your name rests on the tip of my tongue, to holy to utter out loud…

my words fall short, and I can only sit in silence.

Let your reality envelop me, now and forever…

let your will be done,

on earth and in heaven,

in this heart as it is in your heart…

let me walk in your footsteps…like a son walks in his father’s footsteps.

Lord, meet my needs,

relieve me of my attachments to those things I don’t need.

Forgive me for my continual tendency to choose my own interests,

to seek comfort and escape, to seek recognition and power…

to struggle for control.

Give me a heart of grace, quick to forgive…

let forgiveness and patience be my natural reaction to those I encounter…

especially those I know intimately.

Lead me on a safe path, away from temptation…

there is nothing new…temptation always offers a way out.

There is always a choice.

Lord, let me recognize temptation and run from it…

Deliver me from evil,

protect my house and family, those I know and love…

let me recognize evil when I encounter it,

and give me the wisdom to respond.

Lord, thank you for this gift of life,

shared with you…given meaning by you,

given beauty by you,

given by you.

I rest in your presence…forever.

Amen

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/the-lords-prayer/feed/ 0 The Good News? http://contemplativechristian.com/the-good-news/ http://contemplativechristian.com/the-good-news/#comments Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:20:48 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1183
I’ve been thinking about grace lately, as I begin a new chapter in my career journey.  For years I’ve worked with families in crisis, primarily with the homeless…and these folks know a thing or two about grace.   If you’re beat down and full of shame, to be looked in the eye and told you matter is liberation.  When I’ve taken families into shelter and begun to work with them, inevitably the single factor affecting change in their lives is unconditional love.  It changes things.

The church is supposed to be about unconditional love, but if I were to ask 10 people on the street what first comes to mind when they think of church, I’ll bet that’s not it.  What’s going on here?  The gospel is supposed to be good news.  If what we’re calling good news is the last thing people want to hear, then it’s not good news.  Well, some would say, it’s only good news to the predestined, or it’s only good news for those who believe correctly.  It turns out if you’re on the other side of the tracks, its very bad news indeed.  Hellfire and brimstone, in fact.  Something doesn’t add up.

The whole concept of grace throws this on its head.  God’s acceptance of us has nothing to do with us…it comes to us with no consideration of our merit.  We cannot earn it or screw it up.  If we could earn it or screw it up, it wouldn’t be grace.  It certainly wouldn’t be good news.  It cannot be something some people have and others don’t.  Grace is unconditional…that means without condition.  This is what sets Christianity apart from the rest…the idea that God is forever turned toward mankind, a lover who walked to the edge and beyond in pursuit of His sons and daughters.

The choice lies in whether we can bring ourselves to turn toward Him…to be seen as we are, laid bare, and embraced.  Many deeply doubt their own worth, and cannot accept this kind of love.  Many deeply doubt love itself, and are wary to open themselves to trust.  I think God reserves His deepest compassion for these…those who don’t choose Him, who cannot choose Him.  These, who are often ostracized, judged or argued with by defensive Christians, are the prodigal sons, for whom God would drop everything and run down the road to embrace, tears of joy streaming down his face.  Perhaps there are some of these reading this now.  Come home…His arms are raised, not in anger, but in compassion.

I am a mess.  Yet, in my Father’s eyes, I am perfect and accepted completely.  So, maybe I’m not a mess after all.  I am willing to take the chance, and live from a place of freedom…from my own disappointment with myself, from the judgments of others, from being alone.  Grace is an invitation to live in the moment, in the embrace of the present.  It’s an invitation to enjoy the shared experience of reciprocal love we enter into when we lay back in the arms of God.  God is a lover.  Do not be afraid.

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/the-good-news/feed/ 3 Road Trip http://contemplativechristian.com/road-trip/ http://contemplativechristian.com/road-trip/#comments Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:42:46 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1054 Contemplative PrayerI spent the last few days driving through Northern Idaho and Western Montana…a mountainous region in the northwest corner of the United States.  This area is rugged and beautiful…full of jagged peaks, rugged terrain and an array of wildlife.  The Beartooth Plateau has exposed rock that dates to 3.3 billion years ago, and the Missoula Valley is composed of sediment from a 12,000 year old mammoth lake that covered most of the northern portion of Montana.  This particular lake was formed by an ice dam that eventually weakened and broke, letting loose a volume of water comparable to that found in modern Lake Ontario…which followed the path of least resistance through Idaho, Washington and Oregon. It was the largest flood of known geologic history.  It must have been devastating to the people living in the region.  From the air, you can see the ripples left in the ground after the flood passed through Eastern Washington.  From the ground, they are part of the landscape: rolling hills dotted with farms and covered with crops and grasslands.

I took away a sense of scale…and of beauty.  In the midst of the raw savagery and brilliance of the created world, one can only admit powerlessness.  We are so incredibly small…yet called to faith that moves mountains. Try contemplating this while standing next to an actual mountain.  Christ must have, spending as much time as he did in solitude at higher altitude.  Honestly, what it comes down to is this:  I have nothing.  This whole journey is too magnificent and wild to tame…yet, we try and try to define and control it…to wrap up the Christian journey into a neat package we can easily manipulate.  If we think we’ve got it figured out, our challenge is to go stand at the base of a 5,000 foot mass of solid basalt and pray it away…just a few inches away will do.

And yet…

Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

God is God.  Creation speaks wonderfully of His nature.  God’s nature as expressed in Nature is not tame, not safe…but good.  Very good, in fact.  I think there’s a reason that solitude taken in the outdoors touches the soul deeper than even the most profound quiet moments in our created homes and churches.  Being out in the midst of Creation, in the presence of God’s creative expression of Himself, of His nature…being there ensures we remember who we are…where we stand…who we stand before.  Let’s follow Christ away from the crowds, up to that place, to the mountainside…into the presence of the One who makes the heavens shout and the mountains burst into song.



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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/road-trip/feed/ 0 Home Again http://contemplativechristian.com/home-again/ http://contemplativechristian.com/home-again/#comments Thu, 23 Jul 2009 02:15:28 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1015 How often have we been courageous enough to pray sincerely,
“Come Creator”?
How often have we really asked Him
to create,
recreate
and reconstruct us,
bring us down to death
and back to life again?
Do we honestly want this consuming Spirit
to destroy the awful power we have
of resisting Him?
-Louis Evely

The reality of God is devastating.  Lord, let me be devastated.

There are times when the spiritual life, ebbing and flowing, always in motion, slows to a near stop…when, lulled by the status quo, by the ordinariness of our life with God, our prayer, our life in church, our life at work, our life at home…we stop moving forward.  I am in that place…and seeing it, I am once again shaken, troubled…faced with the need to ask my Lord, fearlessly, to create, recreate, reconstruct me…to bring me down to death and back again.  My resistance to God so often manifests itself as apathy…

And yet, in this place of devastation…I am met once again with grace.  Anxiously returning home from my wanderings…carried away by my imagination, attention drawn away by worries of money and career, lulled to sleep by activity and a tight schedule…I am met at the road by my Father, arms wide open…and I am home again.

Come Creator…my teacher…my Lord.  Reconstruct me once again.

]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/home-again/feed/ 0 God of My Life http://contemplativechristian.com/god-of-my-life/ http://contemplativechristian.com/god-of-my-life/#comments Wed, 13 May 2009 17:35:32 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=984 This prayer is attributed to Karl Rahner (a German Jesuit influential in post-Vatican II thought).  His words led me into worship.  Perhaps they may do the same for you…

Only in love can I find you, my God.

In love the gates of the soul spring open,

allowing me to breathe a new air of freedom

and forget my own petty self.

In love my whole being streams forth

out of the rigid confines of narrowness and anxious self-assertion,

which makes me a prisoner of my own poverty and emptiness.

In love all the powers of my soul flow out toward you,

wanting never more to return,

but to lose themselves completely in you,

since by your love you are the inmost center of my heart,

closer to me than I am to myself.

But when I love you,

when I manage to break out of the narrow circle of self

and leave behind the restless agony of unanswered questions,

when my blinded eyes no longer look merely from afar

and from the outside upon your unapproachable brightness,

and much more when you yourself, O Incomprehensible One,

have become through love the inmost center of my life,

then I can bury myself entirely in you, O mysterious God,

and with myself all my questions.

-Karl Rahner SJ

Source: Harter, Michael, SJ. (1993). Hearts on Fire: Praying with Jesuits. St. Louis: The Institute of Jesuit Sources.

]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/god-of-my-life/feed/ 0 A Humility http://contemplativechristian.com/a-humility/ http://contemplativechristian.com/a-humility/#comments Sat, 21 Mar 2009 06:42:45 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=893 Contemplative Christian - Christ CrucifiedI look at my spiritual life with frustration at times. I see how much I’ve grown and changed, how I’ve come to live a life of service and love of Christ. I see that I am on a journey to become more like Jesus, to see through His eyes, to live as He lived, to love as He loved. I see how I have been touched by grace, in ways I cannot express. Oh Lord, you have shown me such tenderness and mercy…you have emptied me and filled me up.

Yet, I see so many periods of inaction, when my growth seems to grind to a halt, and I am swept up in myself, my desires for comfort, for power or for acceptance. These periods can become attachments themselves, and have, yet… In your grace, Father, I am reminded I cannot separate the periods of desolation from the story. They belong as everything belongs. In the darkness that comes again and again, I see light in new ways and accept with greater humility the love that perpetually calls me into life. Jesus, I surrender to your life, your love. Thank you for my weakness and inability to live to my own standard…this is my humanity, Jesus, through which you continue to create life.

Father, I give you my reverence…you are holy. I turn to you in my humanity…
Let your kingdom come. Let your will be done, on earth, in this heart, as it is in heaven.
I accept, Lord, that you take care of all my needs…and you understand my desperate, futile graspings for comfort or power, or acceptance. Forgive me, and let me sow seeds of grace in all my relationships…let my response be total.
Lead me on a safe path, Lord, and give me eyes to see evil for what it is…
For all things belong to you and take on life and Truth in your hands…and all things proclaim your glory and grace everlasting.
Amen

]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/a-humility/feed/ 0 An Examen http://contemplativechristian.com/an-examen/ http://contemplativechristian.com/an-examen/#comments Mon, 26 Jan 2009 19:23:33 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=793
This version of the Examen, a daily reflective prayer, was given to me by a spiritual director. I can’t say I use this every day, but there is value in it…in so far as it develops self-awareness and awareness of grace in the day to day journey.  It continually amazes me how quickly hours and days can pass…

Perhaps this will be of use to someone.
For what moment today am I most grateful?
For what moment today am I least grateful?
There are many other ways to ask the same questions:
When did I give and receive the most love today?
When did I give and receive the least love today?
When did I feel most alive today?
When did I most feel life draining out of me?
When today did I have the greatest sense of belonging to myself, others, God and the universe?
When did I have the least sense of belonging?
When was I happiest today?
When was I saddest?
What was today’s high point?
What was today’s low point?
by Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, and Matthew Linn

From their book Sleeping With Bread: Holding what gives you life.

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